So. Remember how I said that I do not trust/enjoy StL drivers in the snow? Yeah. Case in point. Yesterday, I was rear-ended on my way to get coffee with Garrett. Now my back end is all wonky and my car creaks all creepy when I drive it. Plus my neck has been killing me all day, although this could very well be from the fact that I may have slept on it goofy.
It's funny. The few people I've talked to about the situation ask the expected questions about insurance and repairs. and honestly...I could care less about that stuff. The guy that hit me looked to be about my age, and jumped out of his truck, crying, freaking out. He explained to me that he's going to school and working three jobs, but just cannot afford car insurance.
It was a strange moment. I wasn't angry. I wasn't particularly shaken up. I felt...bad. For him. I understood exactly where he was coming from. I know exactly what it's like to work hard and feel like you're getting nowhere. I also remembered how obnoxious the guy whose car I bumped when my brakes failed over the summer. He's the reason my car insurance doubled, when in all reality, the final claim stated that I did just barely 500 dollars worth of damage to his car, which is a joke. 500 is the minimum, so...whatever. Regardless. I wasn't about to make this guy's life hard.
So, I told him it was fine and gave him a hug. He thanked me, we climbed back in our vehicles and went on our ways.
Chuck is tough. I'm tough. We handle things. We've got our scars, our imperfections, our weird quirks...at the end of the day, when things get tough, we'll get your there. We're accountable. We do what we gotta, the end.
As life gets curiouser and curiouser, Jeff slipped a package under my door this evening. It was postmarked from Oregon, which was strange, as I hadn't ordered anything nor do I actually know anyone from there. Turns out it was a copy of the Ascetic Junkies' newest album....the album I had waited for months to come out, only to not be able to afford after losing my job.
It came with an extra copy of the album and a post-it note from them, explaining that the extra album was "for a friend" and thanking me for buying the album.
SO. Random friend of mine who bought me the album...thanks. :) You should tell me who you are. I'd give you the extra copy of the album.
With that being said, I just gave it the initial listen-through....and they do not disappoint. <3 They've gone a bit more folky in content and laid off the politics. (which I sort of expected. With Obama in office, there's not really a figurehead-monster for the liberals to point their finger at. I'll post a full report once I get a better analysis of the album.
All right. I'm off to bed. <3
ps--Time magazine listed his album as the best to come out in 2010 and this song is probably why.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
the smallest things...
I don't know who it was, and it really doesn't matter, aside from my wanting to be able to thank them in person. Someone paid the rest of my rent for this month. That's 250 dollars that I can now use to buy food and gas. To pay my property taxes. To even buy a few Christmas presents.
I've set aside twenty of it to pay forward in some way. I'm realizing more and more that I can't let things terminate on me, I need to be more giving and work towards helping others, in the ways that I can. And I know twenty isn't much, but every little bit helps in one way or another.
My mum will be here in a little over a week. I'm really starting to get excited about seeing her. Yeah, I'll be working a lot, but not like I can't see after. Or before. Whatever. And my bugaboo will be home soon. I can't wait to see her. She's always a calming, positive force that I love to have in my life.
Also, it snowed. It's snowing currently. It's beautiful through the window. Driving in it...not so much. *laughs* I have no idea where my confidence in snow-driving comes from, but I wish that the StL population had some of it. It's really not that bad. I'm more concerned with other drivers than myself in being able to handle it.
I'm waiting on my govt/constitution class to post grades, but so far, I have straight A's this semester, which I'm super stoked about.
Welp, I'm off to clean my apartment and get ready for work.
I've set aside twenty of it to pay forward in some way. I'm realizing more and more that I can't let things terminate on me, I need to be more giving and work towards helping others, in the ways that I can. And I know twenty isn't much, but every little bit helps in one way or another.
My mum will be here in a little over a week. I'm really starting to get excited about seeing her. Yeah, I'll be working a lot, but not like I can't see after. Or before. Whatever. And my bugaboo will be home soon. I can't wait to see her. She's always a calming, positive force that I love to have in my life.
Also, it snowed. It's snowing currently. It's beautiful through the window. Driving in it...not so much. *laughs* I have no idea where my confidence in snow-driving comes from, but I wish that the StL population had some of it. It's really not that bad. I'm more concerned with other drivers than myself in being able to handle it.
I'm waiting on my govt/constitution class to post grades, but so far, I have straight A's this semester, which I'm super stoked about.
Welp, I'm off to clean my apartment and get ready for work.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
...Why Don't I begin again?
So.
I am refusing to be in this slump any longer. I refuse to sit back and be complacent. I refuse to just whine and not act.
I am not a victim. I am a victor.
School's done. I refuse to whine about Kaldi's anymore. I am accepting that this is a temporary situation--I will make the best of my situation. I can start by getting familiar with their regulars. By working hard at the things that I am allowed to do. By practicing the things I'm supposed to practice. To ask questions. To be friendly and get to know my co-workers.
I also have Wehrles'. This is an opportunity to make the money I need, and to keep up my barista skills. This is also an opportunity to keep the people I've really grown to love from IAG in my life.
I also now will have the time to rededicate to myself. My apartment is in mild shambles, because I haven't had the time/energy to clean it. I'm behind on laundry. My state of clean is usually a decent reflection of my mental state, and well...I woke up today, took a look around, a REAL look around, and realized that this just won't do.
I am not the victim. I am the victor, especially in my own life.
I don't have it rough. I am quite QUITE blessed. These past couple of months have been rough, but I refuse to let circumstances ruin my outlook any longer.
I'm posting this song, because it is Regina Spektor, and we all know my love for her. It's an old one, but one of my favorites. The imagery is amazing, and I can appreciate "cold Campbell's from a can...as it has become a staple to my diet as of late.
Much love. <3
I am refusing to be in this slump any longer. I refuse to sit back and be complacent. I refuse to just whine and not act.
I am not a victim. I am a victor.
School's done. I refuse to whine about Kaldi's anymore. I am accepting that this is a temporary situation--I will make the best of my situation. I can start by getting familiar with their regulars. By working hard at the things that I am allowed to do. By practicing the things I'm supposed to practice. To ask questions. To be friendly and get to know my co-workers.
I also have Wehrles'. This is an opportunity to make the money I need, and to keep up my barista skills. This is also an opportunity to keep the people I've really grown to love from IAG in my life.
I also now will have the time to rededicate to myself. My apartment is in mild shambles, because I haven't had the time/energy to clean it. I'm behind on laundry. My state of clean is usually a decent reflection of my mental state, and well...I woke up today, took a look around, a REAL look around, and realized that this just won't do.
I am not the victim. I am the victor, especially in my own life.
I don't have it rough. I am quite QUITE blessed. These past couple of months have been rough, but I refuse to let circumstances ruin my outlook any longer.
I'm posting this song, because it is Regina Spektor, and we all know my love for her. It's an old one, but one of my favorites. The imagery is amazing, and I can appreciate "cold Campbell's from a can...as it has become a staple to my diet as of late.
Much love. <3
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Dear money, I hate you.
So. Was banking on unemployment and cash from selling my books back to float me through this month while waiting on paychecks and things from jobs I just started.
I received a letter today from the Unemployment office telling me basically that I'm bring denied my money due to their not receiving a form that I never filled out. Which would be of my accord...IF I HAD RECEIVED THE FORM MYSELF. Also, the cash from selling back my books? Nope. They refused my math book. My philosophy book was a rental and therefore, nope. My other two books came up to 64 bucks. WOO. Then they put it on one of those fake debit cards.
...which is whatever. I understand. It's money. However, I can't pay rent with this. I can't use this to pay my credit card. I can use to put gas in my car, which is good. and to eat. but I promised Jeff that money, and now I have to re-nig that promise because JeffCo is stupid.
...The only good thing about today was getting a card in the mail from my Bugaboo Les, who I miss WAY too much for her face to be in Virginia all the time. Come home, please! <3
I got a D+ on my math test...which probably brought my grade down to a C. Which means that my final is make-it-or-break-it. I really would like a B, as to not completely screw my GPA this semester. I also didn't get to say goodbye to Brad, my philosophy professor who I adore, because he's sick...planning on sending him an email. (I know, nerdy, but dude's the bomb.) But I feel good about that final, at the very least. I'm right on the fence of the A/B mark in government. I know I have an A in both history of rock n roll and philosophy, so that helps. I just...I'm so close to being done at JeffCo, for which the main goal was to raise my GPA to help pay for real school.
There's also a large possibility in my going to MoBap instead of UMSL. It would be way convenient, as it is ten minutes from here and work. It's a little more, but if I can get that covered with financial aid and scholarships, it'd be totes worth it. I need to look into their programming a bit more to see if it has the major I'm interested in. Also, they're connected with JeffCo, so I know all of my credits will transfer. A definite plus.
All right. I need food and to start hitting the books. Two more finals, and then this semester is OVER.
I received a letter today from the Unemployment office telling me basically that I'm bring denied my money due to their not receiving a form that I never filled out. Which would be of my accord...IF I HAD RECEIVED THE FORM MYSELF. Also, the cash from selling back my books? Nope. They refused my math book. My philosophy book was a rental and therefore, nope. My other two books came up to 64 bucks. WOO. Then they put it on one of those fake debit cards.
...which is whatever. I understand. It's money. However, I can't pay rent with this. I can't use this to pay my credit card. I can use to put gas in my car, which is good. and to eat. but I promised Jeff that money, and now I have to re-nig that promise because JeffCo is stupid.
...The only good thing about today was getting a card in the mail from my Bugaboo Les, who I miss WAY too much for her face to be in Virginia all the time. Come home, please! <3
I got a D+ on my math test...which probably brought my grade down to a C. Which means that my final is make-it-or-break-it. I really would like a B, as to not completely screw my GPA this semester. I also didn't get to say goodbye to Brad, my philosophy professor who I adore, because he's sick...planning on sending him an email. (I know, nerdy, but dude's the bomb.) But I feel good about that final, at the very least. I'm right on the fence of the A/B mark in government. I know I have an A in both history of rock n roll and philosophy, so that helps. I just...I'm so close to being done at JeffCo, for which the main goal was to raise my GPA to help pay for real school.
There's also a large possibility in my going to MoBap instead of UMSL. It would be way convenient, as it is ten minutes from here and work. It's a little more, but if I can get that covered with financial aid and scholarships, it'd be totes worth it. I need to look into their programming a bit more to see if it has the major I'm interested in. Also, they're connected with JeffCo, so I know all of my credits will transfer. A definite plus.
All right. I need food and to start hitting the books. Two more finals, and then this semester is OVER.
My brain is filled to the brim with nightmares.
Nightmares.
...abuse, violence, beating, screaming.
It latches onto my brain in my sleep and won't let go.
I have no idea what's real and what's false anymore.
I can't tell if my brain is finally making sense of some aspects of my childhood, or just filling in the gaps with nonsense.
Either way, I wish it would stop.
I think I'm going to skip my last lecture in gov't, so I can have time to make sense of math and philosophy and go have my meeting with Jake. I have my powerpoints, I'll be able to make sense of it all.
School is done t-minus five days.
...abuse, violence, beating, screaming.
It latches onto my brain in my sleep and won't let go.
I have no idea what's real and what's false anymore.
I can't tell if my brain is finally making sense of some aspects of my childhood, or just filling in the gaps with nonsense.
Either way, I wish it would stop.
I think I'm going to skip my last lecture in gov't, so I can have time to make sense of math and philosophy and go have my meeting with Jake. I have my powerpoints, I'll be able to make sense of it all.
School is done t-minus five days.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Wait, Is it time for a music post?
Hells yes.
First of all. Glee. You finna get a beatdown. Ok. At first, I really liked your show. I really did. I even have the first 13 episodes on DVD. but it's gotten progressively more...annoying. Dramatic. Less about show choir, more about high school character dramatics and substandard musical performances. I binged and caught up with the second season online, and if I may have a Chris Crocker moment:
LEAVE FLORENCE + THE MACHINES ALONE!
Have Britney. Amy. Gaga. Leave my lovely indie bands alone plzthnx.
That's all I have to say about that.
Moving on...so, does anyone remember hellogoodbye? Dropped an LP on Drive Thru Records in 2007. adorable, sweet, synth-pop-punk album. Adorable guys. Kinda fell off the radar...until recently. They've dropped a new album, Would It Kill You?. I have three words.
A. Maze. Ing.
They grew up! It's still adorable. It's still catchy. Some elements of the synth sound, but for the most part they're working to showcase Forrest's vocal talent and the musicianship of the rest of the guys. These boys can play. This dude can SING. They're also putting the album out on their own label, called Wasted Summer. Which would've been a great title for this record. It has a great summer-driving to the beach with the top down, radio-blasting kind of feel. However, releasing it now...it makes my car feel like sunshine, even though it's stupid cold. I'm obsessed with the horn section in "Betrayed By Bones" currently, as well as the general use of Forrest's ukulele skills.
As always, my opinion is just that, an opinion. So check it for yourself :) [I always share. :) ]
...Other than that, I've been listening to a LOT of old stuff lately. Been taking it 2003 style, rocking the Elliot Smith/Modest Mouse/Jeff Buckley/Garbage hard. [It's winter, it's not my fault.] Also been rocking Animal Collective and TV on the Radio. It's the hipster in me. She can't help it.
I'm really just waiting for the new Decemberists album to drop in January. eeeee! I'll start looking for leaks soon. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
All right. I've put off studying and all that long enough. Time to hit the books.
Enjoy suckaaaas. <3
First of all. Glee. You finna get a beatdown. Ok. At first, I really liked your show. I really did. I even have the first 13 episodes on DVD. but it's gotten progressively more...annoying. Dramatic. Less about show choir, more about high school character dramatics and substandard musical performances. I binged and caught up with the second season online, and if I may have a Chris Crocker moment:
LEAVE FLORENCE + THE MACHINES ALONE!
Have Britney. Amy. Gaga. Leave my lovely indie bands alone plzthnx.
That's all I have to say about that.
Moving on...so, does anyone remember hellogoodbye? Dropped an LP on Drive Thru Records in 2007. adorable, sweet, synth-pop-punk album. Adorable guys. Kinda fell off the radar...until recently. They've dropped a new album, Would It Kill You?. I have three words.
A. Maze. Ing.
They grew up! It's still adorable. It's still catchy. Some elements of the synth sound, but for the most part they're working to showcase Forrest's vocal talent and the musicianship of the rest of the guys. These boys can play. This dude can SING. They're also putting the album out on their own label, called Wasted Summer. Which would've been a great title for this record. It has a great summer-driving to the beach with the top down, radio-blasting kind of feel. However, releasing it now...it makes my car feel like sunshine, even though it's stupid cold. I'm obsessed with the horn section in "Betrayed By Bones" currently, as well as the general use of Forrest's ukulele skills.
As always, my opinion is just that, an opinion. So check it for yourself :) [I always share. :) ]
...Other than that, I've been listening to a LOT of old stuff lately. Been taking it 2003 style, rocking the Elliot Smith/Modest Mouse/Jeff Buckley/Garbage hard. [It's winter, it's not my fault.] Also been rocking Animal Collective and TV on the Radio. It's the hipster in me. She can't help it.
I'm really just waiting for the new Decemberists album to drop in January. eeeee! I'll start looking for leaks soon. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
All right. I've put off studying and all that long enough. Time to hit the books.
Enjoy suckaaaas. <3
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